I think until this whole YEAR is over will i stop being so emoish. Emoish sad pissed whatever.

Just when that report has finally being cleared, now another thing has come to replace it. The Sembcorp scholarship ceremony is next TUESDAY and only now then we know the actual date. Mon need to go sign the deed with my auntie and mother which means another half day nid to take leave. ceremony day take leave. And my brillant life feels that i should get another leave due to my whole mother's side wants to go Genting this month. So i'm suppose to get ANOTHER leave. How many leave u expect me to take? I'm already sinking soon with that crap shit Project for my attachment and i have to take so many leave. If i dun even get a B how? U only kip saying wan me to take the schloarship take take take. When i say its so mafan so much additional work u always say u should work hard do this do that. I dun see WHY THE FUCK should i take something that is giving me so much stress and trouble just for that 1 year of assured work. Its not even a confirmed thing.

As time goes by, i continue to feel that taking up this scholarship is a mistake. Perhaps its just me having all the shit together at one shot that make me feel this way. For us already in attachment its a double attachment. If we are like daxino whose attachment should be straight with sembcorp i suppose it wont be so mafan bah? Whu knows but at the very least will have more holiday. Life is hard, whining is something i'm sure to do and yet although i know in the end i have to do it... Sometimes taking the easy way out cross my mind. Maybe just a strawberry person talking.

Taking care of something that has many stages and requires no contamination is so unlikely to happen. The lab is only THAT big/small depending on how u see it. The algae just can't receive enough light also. I clean it wash it try to ensure the pump works and whatever. But in the end the space there is just so small that ANY small movement will change the pump speed. And then everything is screwed up. I know changing the pump spd is SUPPOSE to be easy but in actually fact it isn't. Trying to get ENOUGH algae for the experiment is also another problem. Everyday i have to touch the wastewater and although i kip changing the gloves but always ALWAYS i will have to touch the wastewater until i forgot to change. Then theres contamination, algae dun grow, no results. Where does that leave me? No results, wasting resources, not doing a god job, get a lousy grade.

I really wonder if i can last even till the end of this year.