Just when that report has finally being cleared, now another thing has come to replace it. The Sembcorp scholarship ceremony is next TUESDAY and only now then we know the actual date. Mon need to go sign the deed with my auntie and mother which means another half day nid to take leave. ceremony day take leave. And my brillant life feels that i should get another leave due to my whole mother's side wants to go Genting this month. So i'm suppose to get ANOTHER leave. How many leave u expect me to take? I'm already sinking soon with that crap shit Project for my attachment and i have to take so many leave. If i dun even get a B how? U only kip saying wan me to take the schloarship take take take. When i say its so mafan so much additional work u always say u should work hard do this do that. I dun see WHY THE FUCK should i take something that is giving me so much stress and trouble just for that 1 year of assured work. Its not even a confirmed thing.
As time goes by, i continue to feel that taking up this scholarship is a mistake. Perhaps its just me having all the shit together at one shot that make me feel this way. For us already in attachment its a double attachment. If we are like daxino whose attachment should be straight with sembcorp i suppose it wont be so mafan bah? Whu knows but at the very least will have more holiday. Life is hard, whining is something i'm sure to do and yet although i know in the end i have to do it... Sometimes taking the easy way out cross my mind. Maybe just a strawberry person talking.
Taking care of something that has many stages and requires no contamination is so unlikely to happen. The lab is only THAT big/small depending on how u see it. The algae just can't receive enough light also. I clean it wash it try to ensure the pump works and whatever. But in the end the space there is just so small that ANY small movement will change the pump speed. And then everything is screwed up. I know changing the pump spd is SUPPOSE to be easy but in actually fact it isn't. Trying to get ENOUGH algae for the experiment is also another problem. Everyday i have to touch the wastewater and although i kip changing the gloves but always ALWAYS i will have to touch the wastewater until i forgot to change. Then theres contamination, algae dun grow, no results. Where does that leave me? No results, wasting resources, not doing a god job, get a lousy grade.
I really wonder if i can last even till the end of this year.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
F.U.C.K O.F.F
Ok U know what i'm seriously getting so FUCKING PISSED off with that whole CONSTANT NEVER ENDING u gotta work hard crap. WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK. HARD HARD HARD HARD HARD. And then? U supposedly able to enjoy life with ur family. Provided U survive till that is one thing. Haven go bonkers is another. BUT THE MAIN THING IS U GOTTA KNOW HOW U GONNA WORK HARD? Fuck EVERYTHING ALSO DUNO WORK SAI LAH.
That COI, i regret. Regret taking attachment but the biggest thing i regret is taking MBR as my FUCKING choice. 2000 words Report, how do you expect me to write when all i've been doing is the same thing over and over again? Algae informations are not proven to be accurate so not really able to put them in my report anyway. Further more Final report ur supose to EXPAND on it? How to expand when all the thing i'm doing is the GODDAMN SAME THING?
Report is already bad enough but still have to do that stupid presentation. Every 2 week do 1 presentation. Whats the USE? Why can't we be like other ppl in other projects where they have their SO to TELL us what to do so that we dun nid to have this USELESS AND LAME presentation? U know ur kip complaining no results but i VERY MUCH prefer no results. I have to spend everyday in the lab doing the same thing over and over again and yet i can only say it in my report with like 50 words? So what does that leave me with? A student who seems to be slacking in the lab. After doing that same thing i STILL have to organize it into tables and graphs. So what even if its supposedly easy? Still gotta do more work right. More things for him to question and actually i dun understand WHY is it easy. Some of the data needs thinking to go through.
My new post after so long and it just makes me feel so much worst. How am i suppose to go out to work when i break down so easy. I'm just tired of life.
That COI, i regret. Regret taking attachment but the biggest thing i regret is taking MBR as my FUCKING choice. 2000 words Report, how do you expect me to write when all i've been doing is the same thing over and over again? Algae informations are not proven to be accurate so not really able to put them in my report anyway. Further more Final report ur supose to EXPAND on it? How to expand when all the thing i'm doing is the GODDAMN SAME THING?
Report is already bad enough but still have to do that stupid presentation. Every 2 week do 1 presentation. Whats the USE? Why can't we be like other ppl in other projects where they have their SO to TELL us what to do so that we dun nid to have this USELESS AND LAME presentation? U know ur kip complaining no results but i VERY MUCH prefer no results. I have to spend everyday in the lab doing the same thing over and over again and yet i can only say it in my report with like 50 words? So what does that leave me with? A student who seems to be slacking in the lab. After doing that same thing i STILL have to organize it into tables and graphs. So what even if its supposedly easy? Still gotta do more work right. More things for him to question and actually i dun understand WHY is it easy. Some of the data needs thinking to go through.
My new post after so long and it just makes me feel so much worst. How am i suppose to go out to work when i break down so easy. I'm just tired of life.
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